Quickie, Mart - Kawa Market

There's trouble in Rivercity (R: Fig. 1, One man's Orientalism is another's...? The Chinese Pagoda at the Downtown Public Library, Riverside, CA). I should've acted sooner and re-posted this information courtesy of a non-partisan, myspace civic activist group called SAVE-RIVERSIDE. The Save Riversidians recently commented on one of my old posts, "Show Me the Mizithra," about the City of Riverside's dastardly plans to shut down Kawa Market, a 100-year-old mom & pop shop that became an Asian market some 30 years ago. In that post I went on and on about the "resilience of mom & pop" operations in Riverside and reminisced about the alive and kickin' Kawa, the place my mom and I went together to buy Pinoy treats like the pugent and salty breakfast fish, tuyo or smoked, shredded tinapa with some 2-liter kegs of Squirt or Cactus Cooler to wash it all down. The Mayor and his merry band of citycouncilfolks made a chump outta me.

Kawa has no future. Its owners Lin Lin (aka "William") and Wendy Guan have surrendered the property to the City's "eminent domain." In the words of Press Enterprise Columnist, Dan Bernstein (an accomplished whistler who my dad accompanied on the piano for a gig at RCC's Landis Auditorium), "Riverside surrenders something too."

Where is your scrappy soul, my hometown?

Its raggedy afterglow remains, perhaps, on homemade videos such as this one featuring Riverside City Council Candidate, Mike Gardner, bellied up to the Kawa counter for some good old fashioned politicking alongside the Guans. For more curiously poignant "Save Kawa" video (so much to say, so little time), see the "Save Riverside" site linked above or visit Riverside Land Grab:

From the East to Electrelane (with Tenderness)

I'm knee deep in my summer of indulgence. A better jag than my usual summers of indolence. I've had plenty to write about from So. Cal's east, Inland and adjacent, including a "geographies of Long Beach Pride" meditation (technically south...but "the east is so many things" qua Electrelane). The LBC pride chat has been wedged in the back of my foggy noggin ever since my Delta y Kappa posse collectively gorged a Medieval Times-inspired roasted turkey leg before Jennifer Hudson's set on the mainstage. But today, with the slight shiver of an L.A. June gloom in the air, and with a faded base-tan from my own recent overcast off-days spent rolling in the sand in Laguna and Malibu, I'm going to wax tender about my week spent gloriously awash in the sounds of another beach town's finest, Brighton's ELECTRELANE.

I'm a relative latecomer to the band's music, which is to be expected from an I.E. popslut, no doubt. I'd only heard of them about 3 years ago despite their nearly decade-long career, and went to see them for the first time at the Troubadour in 2005 when they opened for Dutch punk grandaddies, The Ex. I was actually lured to the show by a coterie of academic friends, one of whom had (and I presume still has) an intense fanboy lust for guitarist, Mia Clarke. I came away from the show enamored of the all-female band from Brighton and less than enthused by the rage-against-age Nederlander masculinity of The Ex.

Little did I realize that later that same year, Electrelane's music would serve as the soundtrack for the torturous unfurling of my own new love story, my own new sense of desire, friendship and place. The Kangagi brought Electrelane full force into my life with a mournful mix simply dubbed "Late Nights." It was quickly loaded to my pod as I retreated to Europa, Europa to sort things out over winter break, where I listened to "Birds" on endless, interpretive repeat as I wandered through Deutschland forests and sludgy Parisian streets trying to figure out what the sonic narrative meant to us. Would mean for us.

In retrospect some obscurists and completists would call us out for our trite song choice--for scoring a made-for-tv moment of puppy love to the melodic single instead of to one of the band's more sweeping and "cinematic" instrumental explorations. But aren't the predictable conventions of love part of what endows the whole experience with an element of formalist pleasure? And isn't it that same, strange dialectic of urgent improvisation and impeccable formalism that makes Electrelane sound so fucking good?

Two years since and the Kangagi and I are jolly muppets in love who get to hang with the band--and most importantly, we get to hear them play live whenever they roll through So. Cali. You see, little did I know in the midst of all my Shelleyan brooding that Kangagi's good pal (let's call her D.Mac for the purposes of this blog) is lovebirds with the incomparable Emma Gaze, resident heartthrob and co-founder of Electrelane, along with vocalist, keyboardist, virtuoso, Verity Susman (alter-ego Vera November). Emma (E-z) is not only an "ace" of a good time (did I use that Brit idiom properly?), but she drums with the disciplined antsiness of a British schoolboy. At least she does in my imaginary, which is shaped by grad skool Victoriana and Inland Empire New Ro' Anglophilia. I mean it as the highest of compliments.

This week we had several Patrick Fugit in Almost Famous (but much cooler) moments courtesy of D. Mac and E-z, be it peeking from the wings at the sold out crowds at the Greek as Arcade Fire rumbled through their set, or smoking responsibly on the tour bus so as not to set Griffith Park ablaze. It was also on the bus where we got to hear pocket-sized mack daddy bassist, Ros Murray, wax poetic about the facial expressions of Mary Lynn Rasjkub (aka Chloe O'Brian) on 24. Perhaps this obsession with tempo and gesture in its primetime formats is what makes Ros the kind of languidly cool bass player who can keep a rhythm section honest.

But the best moments were reserved for their return to the Troubadour last night. This time, Electrelane were the headliners of a sold-out show. While catching them on tour with Arcade Fire, one of the moment's IT bands from Canadia, is certainly something to behold, especially in an atmosphere of nachos, tumblers of beer and backwards baseball caps at the corporatized Greek, there's nothing like seeing the band in their own moment, amongst their own fans in the admittedly gentrified but still studiously scruffy Troub.

Opening for them was the French queer popster and one-woman tour de force, Tender Forever. TF served up delcious nibbles of chanson in a sonorous rasp that would make Bjork jealous. Melanie Valera (she who is forever tender) provided one of the evening's best moments when she covered Justin Timberlake's "My Love" with just her voice and a ukelele, subsequently making the pop whores amongst us ticklish and grateful, while challenging the hipster-curious to loosen up a bit and quit pretending to hate melodies.

By the time Electrelane took the stage the crowd was squirming with anticipation. They were ready to genuflect before Verity's power chords on the organ and Mia's metal-jam riffs delivered with such elegant control that it was like seeing some wild, pheromonic scent harvested into a precious glassblown bottle of eau de toilette. A few tunes in, Electrelane played their latest single, "To the East," an Ostalgie lovesong saturated with a kind of wistful comfort. Any song with a nod to Gdansk (a place I fetishized as the site of a major women's tennis tournament in my proto frat-dyke days) deserves to be a hit.

From my vantage point at the far end of stage left, I could see the band was begging for more on the monitors. But regardless of what they might've heard from onstage, the sound was perfect. The band was tight and sonically communicative with each other, as well as the audience. The rhythm section was precise, the proggy progressions and jams were disarming rather than intimidating. The crowd shouted. The crowd called. As my desperate grasp at the eau de toilette metaphor above belies, I actually don't feel like I have the capacity to describe what I heard, saw and felt on stage last night with any veracity or eloquence. If there were enough youtubers in the world, I suppose I'd be able to find a lovely bootleg clip of Electrelane performing their signature cover of Springsteen's "I'm On Fire" as their encore. Instead, I'll close with a vid clip of their new single from No Shouts, No Calls.

"It could be home...it could be home...it could be home..."
For now this music is.

The Stars are Hollow

My butch cred, tenuous as it already is, might suffer a blow from this admission. I blubbered like a baby the other night because my beloved Gilmore Girls screwballed their way through the quaint corners of Stars Hollow for the very last time. Though I'm usually pretty damn diligent about keeping up with developments in the televisual landscape, I was totally checked out this time around. I was so consumed by end of the semester bureaucracy that I didn't even hear that the show was cut from the languishing CW prime-time line-up for next season.

Or was I just being a delinquent fan? I've been so wrapped-up in this season's Idolatry that I'd let GG episodes gather dust in my Tivo playlist until I felt like having "a very menses evening" with my fave trash snack: Totino's wafer thin extra- crispy Supreme Pizza.

I know lots of fans have moaned about how awful the first half of this, the 7th (and ultimately final) season, played out. Lorelai marrying Christopher in Paris? The tedious plotline about Luke's custody battle for the irritating "oops kid" he sired for Sherilyn Fenn? Both industry and popular wisdom thought the show was done-zo after Amy Sherman Palladino decided to relinquish most of the writing duties to other scribes last year. But this is not the stuff I want to dwell on here.

I'm just gonna miss it, damn it. I'll miss Luke's infuriating yet oddly endearing butch woundedness. Like many butches, he was afflicted with an old-school lesbionic aphasia around Lorelai. Never could say how he really felt or what he really wanted. Always underselling his efforts. Always hanging back. Waiting for the right time, but temporally challenged. FUN FACT: the character of Luke was originally written for a woman. That says something, I think, about the tone of this TV romance. HOTTT.

I'll also miss the girls themselves. The inappropriate desires they enacted and engendered in others. The finale, despite taking some flack from TV Watchers in journoland, the blogsphere and beyond, was appropriately quiet and absurd. No big weddings and cymbal crashes. Just a party and the butch-bottomy remark from Luke to Lorelai, "I just like to see you happy" before they kiss. The show ends with a shot of the girls chatting and chewing as they so often did in Luke's diner. It's an external shot, and they're framed by the plate glass of the diner while Luke himself arranges ketchup bottles in the background. This creates the effect of our noses being pressed up against the glass, as if to say "this world continues elsewhere: you just can't watch anymore."

When I started working on my RELOCATIONS book project, I imagined ways in which the "small town ethos" (like Stars Hollow's) often became appropriated by suburban artists and suburban types as an analogue for their own eccentric encounters. These encounters might provide a precious 'grain' for those daily experiences alienated from the "contact" of urban settings. The oddball everyday. That's what GG served up in generous greasy helpings.

The show also had some great tunes, long before gaudier forms of music branding hit the primetime scene (The O.C., Grey's Anatomy, etc.--Kangagi has a great paper about this and the Patsavas TV soundtrack empire). The hipster soundtrack was attributed to Lane Kim, the Korean drummergirl whose main mischief involved hiding cd's from her 7th Day Adventist mom in the floorboards of her room. I personally could've done without the "town troubadour" in seasons 1 and 2 (a pal of the Palladinos), but now that the town square is silent, I'll probably miss him too. In honor of the Gilmore Girls' soundscape, I created my own "Stars Hollow Mix" of tunes from the show (featured incidentally or as part of the diegesis) a couple of years ago. I shared it with some core GG watchers like Doylie and Gia. I've added a couple since this season. I share it now with you so the stars won't feel quite as hollow...

1. "I Can't Get Started" - Ella Fitzgerald
2. "Cities in Dust" - Siouxsie and the Banshees
3. "The Crystal Lake" - Grand Daddy
4. "Know Your Onion" - The Shins
5. "Flower Girl from Bordeaux" - Esquivel
6. "Teenager" - Camera Obscura
5. "Why Does it Always Rain on Me?" - Travis
6. "Time Bomb" - Rancid
7. "Legal Man" - Belle and Sebastian
8. "Church of the Poison Mind" - Culture Club
9. "Que Sera Sera" - Doris Day
10. "Suburban Homeboy" - Sparks
11. "The Man Who Sold the World" - David Bowie
12. "The Killing Moon" - Echo and the Bunnymen
13. "I Will Always Love You" - Dolly Parton
14. "My Little Corner of The World" - Yo La Tengo

And a late addition (in video format):

Ringtones | Genoa | mp3 downloads

Empire States

The emperor is bedraggled after a long couple of months of hustling and flowing at fine institutions all across the US of A (see the "halogen lit" tour I alluded to several posts ago). Never has my heart simmered in the refrains of Journey's "Faithfully" with such earnestness. I'm obviously lying about the "never" part. [Picture: Main Street, Riverside, CA ca. 1920]

Anyway...smack dab in the middle of Emperor's road show was a "homecoming" date of sorts. Even though I never went to or taught at UCR, Highlander-land is close to my heart. And not just because it's a stone's throw from D'Elia's Grinders. I had the privilege of giving the keynote this year at their annual (dis)junctions grad student conference, one of the biggest (in my experience) and fun grad student gatherings here in SoCal. Shout-out to the organizers Patrick Randolph and Helen Lovejoy for wrangling everyone together.

(dis)junctions also marked the first time my folks ever came to see me "do my thing," and I knew I'd be in big trubs if I didn't tell them I had a gig in our proverbial backyard. I warned them I'd be speaking some deep queer theory--basically another language, not only to native Tagalog speakers, but to plenty of folks "in the biz" as well.

Grandma's response?
"I do not care if I don't understand you. You just better have good style while you're doing it!"
(This explains a lot about me, and my Mamang, the mangled faux-Tagalog name I bestowed upon her instead of the traditional "lola" for grandmother).

My mom, meanwhile, asked if I wanted her to bring sandwiches in her wheelie stay-kool lunch bag just in case "people got hungry." Talk about an Erma Bombeck moment. Needless to say, I declined. But I was nice this time and tried not to reenact that awkward moment in The Prince of Tides when Jason Gould, ridiculously kitted out in football shoulder pads, rebuffs Barbra's/Momma Lowenstein's offer of pastrami sammiches after a rigorous session of butch lessons with Nick Nolte in Central Park.

In the end, my mom still managed to smuggle in a stash of homemade peanut butter cookies (since when did she start baking?!?), which she promptly distributed to the Kangagi and Mr. Troll, who were there to support me with spiritual foam fingers and glitter signs. My mom also managed to spread the cookie love to a jolly if underslept cohort of some of my USC graduate students who presented amazing papers. "So proud, naman!" Before the talk, my mamang pulled the ol' Catholic mass "turn-to-greet-your-neighbor" maneuver and announced to an unsuspecting conference participant sitting next to her, "I am the grandma." (Imagine rolled "r's"). Said conference participant was slightly confused until Doylie revealed la familia was in the house when she introduced me. [Picture L-R, My mom and my grandmother having "halo-halo" at the Salo-Salo Grill in MoValley shortly before the talk.] My dad, meanwhile, put on a show for the colleagues who came up to me after the talk by managing to chug an entire jug of water without ever having the bottle touch his lips.

We capped the conference weekend off with another "research excursion," first to the Menage, and then on to VIP (sans parentals) with some of USC's finest: Princess Charles, Scotland and "the Married Girl." Mr. Troll started a curly-fry trend; T.Ham rocked the dancehall once the "reservations only" drag show ended; Kangagi and I actually won a doubles pool showdown, and we all met some nice kids from Yucaipa who make the trek out to Riverside just to find something to do. Sadly, the RAZR pix I snapped of the his-and-hers Venus de Milo and David statues above the bar are all gone because of a phone mishap too boring to go into here.

A mere week later I found myself in the empire state, in New York City (imagine the Pace Picante Sauce pronunciation) for the splashy AFTER CBGB: Gender, Sexuality and the Future of Subculture event organized by that sharped dress braniac who brings sexyback to academe, Tavia Nyong'o. It was great fun, and I especially loved my old gradskool pal, Matmos co-founder, and Soft Pink Truth-teller, Drew Daniel's glorious riff on the 80s East Bay punk band, Gender Confusion. One of my favorite outcomes of the event was that after my usual suburban riff, James Spooner of Afro Punk fame espoused the glories of hitting up suburban music clubs, not only on the east coast, but back in the day when he was growing up in the "I.E.-adjacent" Apple Valley. He even reminisced about taking excursions with his crew to Riverside's legendary all ages punk venue, Spanky's.

The rest of the weekend was a Pinay-fest and karaoke revolution. 'Day--that's Dr. Christine Bacareza Balance to you--had a stellar dissertation defense prefaced by rich food intake and even richer intellectual conversation. With her Imelda coif and her Pinay posse surrounding her (including her sweetheart si Gars, Lucy Mae San Pablo Burns and Jessica Hagedorn--as well as myself and soon to be USC Mellon postdoc, Robert Diaz) she put on a dazzling display of ube cake-fueled chat with her committee consisting of the Imperial Princess la Shimakawa, lady Munoz, Tavia, Kandice Chuh, and LMSP Burns. [Right: J.Hags and 'Day celebrating at the end] Sadly, the QBN MAMI and Freestyle Queen, Doctora Alex Vazquez's sister chose to have her baby on the same day, so our homegirl in piracy and hoop-earringed dreams could not be there.

Here's a quickie yearbook spread of that afternoon featuring lots of Pinay on Pinay love, a couple of Cubanas/os and some East Asian sistahs for good measure...


If only my mom were there to bring the pot of adobo. But that craving was taken care of with a mass migration, apres defense, to Cendrillon for goblets of Calamansi Margaritas and nouvelle Pinoy cuisine. (The daing na trout on garlic rice was sarap to the max!)

Appropriately, the night was capped off by a frenzy of Karaoke at a little Chinatown fusion spot called Asiaroma. I'll soft-disolve into a photo archive soon. I will pause to say that among the highlights of the evening were multiple duets featuring JJ Chinois and Nao Bustamante taking their performance art to an entirely new level. Since the informal riff I delivered at the CBGB event was all about the Karaoke revolution, I'll let that text provide the backdrop for a slide-show of our song-fueled intimacies. I'd like to think we brought a little of the I.E. back to NYC that night...
************************************************************
FUTURES of A FORGOTTEN PAST
For today's event we were asked to pick a clip that speaks to a future or history of a subculture that we love. This filled me with a tremendous sense of anxiety. I felt I had to pick something really cool and underground that would attest to a cosmo hipster fetish for obscurity and completism. But when I thought about something I’ve watched over and over again in the past couple of years—something that harkened back to those nights spent scarfing curly fries near the pooltable, or watching music videos unspool at alternate house beats in the corner of the I.E.'s stripmall video clubs, I couldn’t help but play THIS of all clips



I shared these repeat viewings with my old pal and artiste extraordinaire, Lynne Chan aka JJ Chinois. And we luxuriated in this gaudy scene of unbridled vocal prowess and physical awkwardness. Carrie is singing HEART of all things, and the duo has been inducted into the pantheon of rock "dykeons" despite the fact that they aren’t practicing Sapphic sisters. (Their cameo on the L-Word in Season 2 only sealed the deal). By drooling over this clip, were JJ and I just a couple of post-suburban brown butches reliving a forbidden lust for the high school prom queen circa 1991? She sure ain’t in Checotah anymore. As it turns out, my andro-hooves "aShane" girlfriend actually WAS the prom queen in her Sweet Valley high school. But I digress...

JJ and I didn’t even grow up in the same ‘burbs. Very different ones, in fact, in opposite parts of the golden state.

JJ grew up in Cupertino/Saratoga—The cradle of the so-called “creative classes" and the home of Macintosh Computers.

I grew up in Riverside—Home of a Rohr defense manufacturing plant since shut down, that was already an industrial substitute for the citrus industries of yore.

So what DID make us loop Carrie on repeat? Was it the same thing that brought us together when we met in college—studiously repressing our suburban histories as we aspired towards indie-dom—until we realized we could split the harmony parts to the chorus of “Galileo” and spit Hall and Oates’ “M-E-T-H-O-D- O-F L-O-V-E” without dropping a beat? Was it about the fact that our future as members of various subcultures would always be defined by an unacknowledged past?

What about the sub-cultural desires spawned somewhere else? Born in provinces, or in the suburbs….in and around malls, in schoolyards after hours or in the words of Alex Vazquez, on the “slippery naugahyde seats of a Dade County Public School Bus?"

Made in garages (thank you Christine), in the dormitories at UC Irvine (thanks PJA), in basements, attics, public softball fields radiant in twilight smog, their abandoned dugouts serving as open bars stacked with Tallboys and Hennessy. It is, was and will be in these “transnational suburban hubs” that we bump to AZNBlatino Freestyle (thanks again, Alex Vazquez). There that we conduct our pinoy Practices of Everyday Performance like the karaoke in our parents’ carport or at the community rec. center (Christine Bacareza Balance). In many respects what America understands as acts of Idolatry are performances cribbed directly from an old Pinoy variety show long before American Idol was born. A show called Student Canteen, where girls "Prom D" or pulled “prom D probinces,” barrios and squatter areas would “break it gently” to Angela Bofill:

I DO YOU BETTER THAN YOU.

Like Idol and the Pinays that have graced its neon stages (Jasmine Trias, Camile Velasco), Student Canteen continues to be beloved by the so-called "Prom D’s" whose children are still provincial, even after they supposedly “ARRIVED” in places like West Covina and Torrance.

In these transnational sub-urban hubs ('cause lots of immigrants can’t afford to live in cities anymore) we honed our subcultural skills through singalongs with our sistahs or bros, by choice more than blood, while riding 3-across in the backseats of Nissans on the 60 West—insert your stretch of freeway, bridge or tunnel here…

The radio plays our favorite song, and that's what keeps me holdin' on...baby do you miss me? Now that I'm gone?

When I was young I'd listen to the radio, waitin' for my favorite songs. When they played I'd sing along...it made me smile...

The clip I played today, one that dares to revel in Idolatry, isn’t just the cry of that forgotten and some would argue justifiably forgetable, sub-urban past of arbitrary immigrant and queer musical discovery. The kind of musical discovery that doesn't happen in a hip little record store with snobby salesclerks, but is dredged up from the bargain bins at K-Mart, amply stocked with Air Supply’s greatest hits (such a smash in the South Pacific). Or it's summoned forth from the the Columbia House Catalogue—10 Cassettes for a penny!—that came in the mail with our mothers’ invitations from Ed McMahon. Indeed, what Carrie Underwood gives us is a glimpse at a future heralded by the Casio trumpet blasts of an empty orchestra.

It’s THE KARAOKE REVOLUTION people, on and beyond your PS3’s…(aren’t gamers another sub-urban subculture thriving, mutating colliding?) I would argue that this Karaoke Revolution is in its sinews if not on its surface, a queer, working class, racialized revolution not cool enough (just yet) to make it on a white hipster’s tshirt. Not the cool that the creative classes trade as capital, and that makes cities too expensive for a place like CBGB. Now CBGB’s future is purportedly in a Las Vegas mall. Everyone’s saying subculture is dead.

Maybe subculture hasn’t died…maybe it’s simply RELOCATED…

Relocated back to where it came from but felt too embarrassed to name…where the kids have nothing to do and don’t give a damn ‘bout their bad reputation as freaks, geeks, queers, immigrants, gangstas, minimum wagers—yes, they live in the suburbs. The thrill is there. There where you ultimately learned enough skillz in your high school choir to bust "Alone" apart on National TV with open throated ferocity, face framed by a Jon Benet mane, sleepy (or is it sultry?) winks of glittery eye-makeup for emphasis…

And it is there where you sounded sweet and low like the saccharine with the same name. Like Karen Carpenter of Downey, CA. She honed her chops as a female lyric tenor in the Long Beach State University choir (choir geeks, band geeks—aren't these subcultures?). This was shortly before she and her brother Richard launched a little musical form we call the POWER BALLAD (Heart’s “Alone,” if not the earliest, is one of the best). In 1972, with “Goodbye to Love,” before there was a 710 freeway to slice across Long Beach and graze El Sereno along the way, the Carpenters created the spark that would inevitably ignite the world with innumerable butane flames, thanks to Tony Peluso of “Instant Joy’s” distorted "melodic fuzz" guitar solo.

What lies in the future is a mystery to us all…
I’ll say goodbye to you with a farewell clip featuring the form that taught us how to cry "Alone" in our bedrooms with our headphones on in the dark until we found those precious others who did the same in nowhere elses...while an unmistakable voice sang with a tender faraway sorrow, as someone played a sad guitar…

P(i)MP: Or All I Wanna Do is make Pop with You

Inspired by yesterday's inaugural PMP (Pop Music Project) "listening lunch" at Trojanland (a project at the Lear Center spearheaded by the incomparable P(i)MP of public intellectualism, Josh Kun) I thought it was high time the Emperor offered another quick and dirty update. Apparently, one of the PMP's future projects may involve an interactive mapping of Southern Cali's soundscapes--something I've been mulling over in my Ernie-shaped head for quite awhile.

Recently, for a different kind of listening party called "Sir Mix-Alot" hosted by Jennifer Doyle, diva of Scrappy Soccer and curator of the art that makes us cry, I put together a playlist inspired by commutes, micro-migrations and the 60 FWY. None of it is especially obscure or collector-driven like the playlists of other mixed-cd clubs I belong to. But it definitely captures some of the middle-brow precociousness of an adolescent, Anglophilic I.E. popslut...all growed up. It also captures some of the acccents and the ensuing "accent elimination" of spaces prior and unforseen.

I was always fascinated by the opening scene in My Fair Lady (the movie, even though I'm a big Julie Andrews-as-'Liza Doo' loyalist). Henry Higgins busts out his imperialist ivory tower skillz and taxonomizes the accents of passersby in Covent Garden, including his future gay lover Col. Pickering's, before taking on the project that is his fair lady. Higgins reads "Cheltenham, Harrow, Cambridge and India" in Pickering's intonation, and a flaccid scholarly friendship is formed. What I'm trying to get at by way of a big detour through my own high-faggotry and Broadway jazz-hands, is that I feel like the playlist I'm about to share with you also has an accent with a spatial genealogy.

"Manila, Honolulu, Riverside, Berkeley, Los Angeles." Or maybe it's "St. Paul's, Maemae Elementary, RHS, RCC, Cal and $C." INLAND EMPEROR'S EAR CANDY has a sprinkle of immigrant lovesong (Olivia Newton John and Cliff Richard's "Suddenly"), a hearty dose of the Columbia House Cassette Club Catalogue (General Public's "Never You Done That," Wham's "Ray of Sunshine" from their 1982 "Fantastic" album), and a lifetime of menses and muppetry (Sarah McLachlan's rendition of "Rainbow Connection," the Indigo Girls covering Jesus Christ Superstar). All of this is leavened with a little indie muzak (Moldy Peaches, Beta Band, Broken Social Scene) and newer stuff by relative unknowns (like Melange LaVonne, the German pop band Wir Sind Helden--actually quite popular...in Germany) just to prove I went to grad school and learned how to pretend to be "cosmopolitan," a term I'm not sure I'm totally down to recuperate just yet.

1. "Ray of Sunshine" - Wham U.K.
2. "Never You Done That" - General Public
3. "Alleged" - The Beta Band
4. "Denkmal" - Wir Sind Helden
5. "Jorge Regula" - The Moldy Peaches
6. "Van Nuys (Es Very Nice)" - Los Abandoned
7. "The Bus" - Melange LaVonne
8. "Photobooth" - Death Cab for Cutie
9. "Major Label Debut" - Broken Social Scene
10. "Rainbow Connection" - Sarah McLachlan
11. "Cemet'ry Gates" - The Smiths
12. "Rhythm of the Night" (Remix) - El Debarge
13. "I Confess" - The English Beat
14. "Everything's Alright" - The Indigo Girls in "Jesus Christ Superstar-A Resurrection"
15. "Picture Postcard" - The Promise Ring
16. "Suddenly" - Olivia Newton John and Cliff Richard
17. "Yo (Excuse Me Miss)" - Chris Brown
18. "Somebody" - Depeche Mode

I've much more to say about the idioms in which each song speaks, but to invoke Hall and Oates, "I'm Out of Time."

Let me leave you with an "honorable mention" in video format. This latter-day Heart hit inspired my title, and DEMANDS a special shout out for its post-Aids hetero-bodied gay cruising motif (picking up the swarthy stranger in a leather jacket...in the rain) crossed with a sneaky insemination narrative that can only be rivaled by Bette and Tina's "it takes three to make baby" tango in the pilot episode of The L-Word. Just watch what I mean...

Tours of Duty (Free) + An Interview with Melange LaVonne

My book proposal is (to cite Laguna Beach) "done-zo," and yet I find myself careening towards many more tasks and much administrative insanity. I won't bore with the minutiae of the Inland Emperor's day job, but before I launch into my exclusive tete-a-tete with the up-and-coming I.E. based hip-hop diva, Melange Lavonne (pictured on the left and featured in the 2007 Homo Revolution Hip-Hop Tour, the first of its kind), allow me to list some of my own "tour dates" for upcoming talks in flourescent-lit rooms near you. Friends in these spots shoot me an email! Can't wait to see you:

March 1 - Cerritos College, on a guest panel about "Gender and Hip-Hop"
March 13 - University of Illinois, Urbana Champaign, invited talk, "Contact, Creativity and Klub Fantasy" for Asian-American Studies, Latino/a Studies, Department of English and Gender and Women's Studies
March 24 - Swarthmore College, Sager Symposium Keynote on "Love Among the Ruins: Butch Intimacies in the Wake of Gentrification"
April 6 - UC Riverside, Disjunctions Conference Keynote on "Inland Emperors"
April 13 - New York University, "After CBGB, Now What?: Gender, Sexuality and the Future of Subculture," invited panelist, sponsored by NYU Performance Studies and CGSG, organized by Tavia Nyong'o
April 20 - EMP Pop Music Conference, Seattle, WA, panel on "Suburban Soundscapes" with CBB, AV, PJA
May 12 - UC Santa Cruz, "Historicism, Homonormativity and Queer Political Formations" Conference Keynote (other keynotes are Marcia Ochoa, Jasbir Puar and Lisa Duggan), on "Relocations: Queer of Color Suburban Imaginaries."
July 26-29 - New Orleans, Association for Theater in Higher Education Conference, invited panel with Jennifer Devere Brody and Ramon Rivera-Servera.

And now on with the show...
I first saw Melange Lavonne perform at this year's FUSION fest at Barnsdall art park, and I was immediately struck by her skills, smooth rhymes, and (from afar) her uncanny resemblance to Halle Berry gone Inland gansta. She spit the crowd to its feet, and despite all the hype around the night's headliner, Deadlee (one of her tourmates on the 2007 Homo Revolution Tour) Ms. Melange stole the show. As her chosen stage name suggests, Melange is a "motley assortment of things; a mixture, a medley"--a badass with game, an artist with attitude, yet an approachable sweetheart with a folksy fondness for where she's from. She's raunchy, yet devout. She's got the profile of a player, but the heart of a real homebody.

Mel, as she signs her own name, is also a survivor. Not in the "glamour camo" Destiny's Child sort of way, although she could very well pull that vibe off if she wanted. Mel's not only had to fight the predictable scourges of sexism, homophobia and racism in the music industry (and let's face it, in this wide world of ours), but she's also battled several types of cancer since childhood. We chatted about all this and more over a series of genial IM chats and emails, since neither of us were willing to brave that traffic on the 60, East or West.

KT: Recently “Entertainment Weekly” made a fuss about the fact that female MC’s, rappers and producers (Li’l Kim, Missy, even Latifah back in the day) are being eclipsed by the Male Rapper/Female R&B singer collaboration. In other words, “the woman’s role” in hip-hop has been "reduced" to providing the “melody” and “hook” to a piece whereas hip-hop “cred,” “heft” and authenticity is attributed to men. Of course we can imagine several things wrong with that formulation (I mean, give artists like Ciara proppers for how they make or break a song), but I wanted to run it by you and see what you think. How do you see yourself confronting these assumptions as you make your own music? Or do you have other comments about the record industry and pop charts writ large?

ML: The pop charts, the music charts, billboard, etc., are all media outlets that favor the Major Record label artist. If you have the payola to get your spins on the radio, then you get your soundscan credit, your awards, your recognition and so forth. Radio involves politics, it's sad, but true. Half the songs you hear on urban radio stations are just plain talentless. And to hear them over and over again brainwashes folks to think they're hits. We don't have much to choose from if they only play 20-25 songs everyday, for weeks if not months in rotation, right? Hmmm... who will make the #1 song this week, the rapper who is rapping about big booty hoes and his car sitting on 25 inch rims, or the rapper who is rapping about big booty hoes and his weed stash being bigger than mini-me? How many ways can you rap about the same things over and over again?!? It gets monotanous. And the winner is...the rapper who you can't understand but whose beat you love because it came from the a well-known producer. Welcome to the music industry. I try not to cater my art to that mentality. Just because I'm female doesn't mean I have a natural gift for singing an R&B melody. I'm a rapper. Period.

KT: That said, what is your own “process” as an artist, songwriter, producer and performer? How do you develop your poignant political content? Do you have your hand in everything, or do you have any collaborators who are crucial to that process? Also, who ultimately decides on your “image presentation” and what are your goals within (or outside of "the industry")? Do you have any concerns about being pigeon-holed as "just" a queer hip-hop artist?

ML: As an artist it is my responsibility to speak on the facts when I choose to mention social and political issues in my music. That means I read before I open my mouth. I research these issues, and then from there I base my lyrics on the history and the personal stories, and incorporate them with my own opinions and beliefs. My friend and mentor, Bobby King is my producer. He allows me to be creative as an artist and I do the same for him, I think. I write all my lyrics. I wouldn't have it any other way because I'm inviting you into my mind for a few minutes! Ultimately, when it comes to my "image," I'm my own decision maker. I do listen to other opinions and ideas, but ultimately I have to make the decision at the end of the day about where I want to go with this and what will come from it. I have staff behind me so I also consider what's in their best interest, as well as what would make it beneficial for them...To have longevity in this industry is to have a great staff of people behind you & working the scene in front. I am just one of the pieces to the "success puzzle" that we're all trying to put together. As for being pigeon-holed...I don't believe in "just" being a queer hip-hop artist, only because I don't believe there is such a thing as queer hip-hop. There isn't white hip-hop, or black hip-hop, or female hip-hop. Hip-hop is hip-hop. And although I know that might not seem the most convincing to people who believe everything has to be categorized (unfortunately), I do believe I can hold my own regardless of where and in what scene I happen to end up.

KT: OK...so you say that you don’t believe in categorizing hip-hop (as either female, queer, white or black), yet you’re touring as part of what promises to be a historical event—the first regional homo-hip-hop tour with multiple artists. I know this has to do with marketing and the industry, but what other benefits are there to being a part of this kind of line-up? Does it make touring easier for you as a queer woman to be a part of a crew that “understands” your desires and your politics? Have any of the artists you’re touring with inspired or influenced some of your own work?

ML: You're right! I am part of a tour called Homo-Revolution, and my belief is that I think it will be a good way to get my music out there to LGBT Venues. More than anything, it allows music listeners to have an option about what kind of hip-hop they can relate too. I can't relate to so-called hip-hop music about Bentley's and platinum jewelry. Hell, I didnt even know what a Bentley was until Puff Daddy (not PDiddy, because I'm tired of him changing names as quickly as he rotates artists in and out of his label) kept mentioning them in his songs. But the problem that I have with only appealing to queer audiences is that once we categorize ourselves as "queer hip-hop," we limit ourselves and our message to that category. When I win a Grammy, I don't want to win a "Best Homo-Grammy." I hope that makes sense. As for the practical aspects of it...yeah, it's much easier touring in the gay circuit because the support is automatically there (although not all the time, which has to do with race, class, etc.). Some Gays and Lesbians can relate to some of the issues you rap about, but then again some of them don't. I would have to say every single artist on this tour has inspired me due to the fact that they have been dedicated to their work and open about everything

KT: Since we're on the topic of broadening your fan base, how do you see your audience shaping up? Since you’ve been out you’ve probably acquired a ton of female fans. What’s it like handling that kind of fandom, and does it ever get too intense or creepy because the lesbian community feels like it has “ownership” over you?

ML: Actually, this kind of relates to the point I was trying to make about not being "pigeon-holed" into one scene. The reality of it is that my fans are not only gay and lesbian--I have a lot of straight fans, ha ha! I recently performed at a straight club with gangsters. I mean literally men with guns at their hips. I spit and gained respect from them. It's obvious I'm a lesbian, but open people respect someone who has heart and love for what they do and the truth they speak. I was asked to come back and perform at their venue again. No one owns me, and if they think they do, then someone told them wrong. I represent people of all colors gay or straight. I represent equality and won't divide my fans into groups. Just because I speak on certain issues, doesn't mean I want to omit a certain group of people from getting to know me. If I did that I would be excluding my father, my mother, my coworkers, and friends. There are as many things in the so-called "gay community" that I don't agree with as much as from the "straight community."

KT: So you mention your mother, father, coworkers and friends, many of whom (I presume) are based in the I.E. Let's talk a little bit about "place" and where these communities collide and coalesce. In your bio it says that you retreated from the false promises of the Hollywood and urban music scenes to go back to the I.E. so you could make your music in the place you feel “at home" and true to yourself. What regional influences or regional tastes do you imagine reflected in your music? What social, political, cultural, class, gender or race issues do you see your work confronting from the vantage point of an “Inland Emperor” or “Inland Empress” (whichever you prefer)?

ML: Living in the I.E., where I grew up, has helped me become a more diverse artist and person as a whole. There are so many different cultures out here and ways of living. Most people don't realize the suburbs aren't just white, but there are many ethnicities co-existing together. Also, I think people become united across class lines here, and in the Inland Empire you can sometimes see class unity regardless of race. Society always seems to want to find scapegoats based on class, religion, sexuality, race, or even political party, and it's unfortunate that people won't give up that pursuit of power over others. As for why I went back [to the I.E.]: I had to get out of Hollywood because everyone from the world landed in that city to pursue a dream. I was one of many. Then I though...if I want to start a buzz and make a statement, why not start with my hometown and then work my way out? I have to admit, I've also faced a few barriers living out here, like the lack of hip-hop support and functions to perform at. Actually, I love performing my song "The Game" in front of crowds in other places who base their social status on how much money, jewelry, or what kind of expensive car a rapper has. When I perform that song in the I.E. I always get a positive reaction. People in the I.E. aren't in Hollywood and can't relate to million dollar budgets or dropping hundreds of dollars on champagne at clubs.

KT: Really quickly, where have you performed in the I.E. despite the lack of venues? (Take note, dear readers--and book a show today!)

ML: I've performed at special events, sometimes monthly events at places like Carlos O'Briens, Incahoots, and other venues that would hold hip-hop competitions. These days my time is mostly consumed in the studio in Palm Springs every weekend.

KT: I remember pre-prom happy hours at Carlos O'Brien's. Ah the Riverside Plaza...But before I lose myself in reminiscence, let's get back to the gender politics of hip-hop, shall we? What's the worst thing you’ve ever confronted from someone in the hip-hop community in response to your gender and/or sexuality?

ML: The worst thing I've ever had to confront (and I was also responsible for this) was hiding who I was for the sake of a major label deal. Being a woman in the industry is challenging, and a lot of men assume that because you're a woman, you're weak and submissive. They think they should dominate the situation and make the decisions for you instead of you having a team working together. That's why I prefer to work as a team now.

KT: Which brings us to some of your new stuff and your thematic confrontations with homophobia. The song and soon to be shot video, “Gay Bash” is a powerful response to homophobia. You mentioned somewhere that the story of Matthew Shepard was an inspiration. What do you think of the fact that other stories of say women of color and transexuals of color don’t often get the same media attention as assaults on gay white men? This is not to say that one hate crime is any worse than another. It’s more a commentary on the way the media (and the classes/races/sexualities in power) shape the cultural and political landscape. What are your thoughts about this?

ML: I agree that, unfortunately, LGBT's of color do not get the same media attention. One of the most publicized and well known gay bashing stories across the nation was Matthew Shepard's death. He was described as an all American student. My song "Gay Bash" though is actually based on all those who have suffered discrimination with the end result being death, and I knew the only way the mainstream LGBT and straight communities would take notice of the message is for me to give it a familiar face. I do think there is biased, racist thinking within the LGBT community itself, which is why its important to discuss these issues and bring up the whole range of possible arguments. I am guilty of contributing perhaps, by making a commercialized "Gay song" alluding to the Matthew Shephard story, but the idea is to get media attention for this violence before (and not only after) these events occur. This opens doors to being able to address the deeper underlying problems we have within the queer community.

KT: I don't want to take a turn towards the morbid, but you do bring up a good point about the range of different confrontations, struggles and mechanisms of survival that you engage in your own music. This is a bit of a personal question, and it comes in response to your bio that reveals your stories of “survival,” and of battling cancer in particular. First of all, do you mind revealing a little more about what specific battles you had to face? How do you see this struggle informing your work or your outlook on being a performer?

ML: I had Hodgkin's disease at 12 years old when my grandmother was dying of breast cancer. Cancer was something that shaped my personality and beliefs in God. I grew closer to him and developed a personal relationship with him that I never thought would exist. So when people tell me that God doesn't accept my lifestyle it's actually laughable. They arent invited into my relationship with him so how could they possibly know the conversations God and I have? That's like someone telling me my Mother hates me, but I talk to my Mother everyday and I know she doesn't. I am going through another obstacle with the cancer I was just diagnosed with, I don't know much about it since there are only 22 cases worldwide. So treatment options at this point aren't known. I'm in the process of getting second opinions. I incorporate my survival into my music by trying to relay the positive outlook instead of the negatives in life. Look....life is short, and I could die tomorrow in a car accident. We have to make the best of what is handed to us. I actually started writing when I was diagnosed with cancer at 12 years old. I began to write my thoughts down, which turned into poetry. It wasn't until I met my best friend Kaelon Kroft that I started formatting my words into songs and lyrics. I don't sing. I wish I could, but rapping is the way I articulate the range of my feelings in 3 or 4 minutes, or however long a song lasts. It's a gift to address subjects and get my point across in a rap song, especially in person. Sometimes I can't actually get out what I want to say in person because I've always had a problem with proper diction and on the spot answers! I'm not the greatest MC, but I want to be the best MC I can possibly be. Michael Jordan never stopped practicing free throws, Tiger woods never stops practicing his swing, and Bush never stops practicing his lies, so there you go...

KT: On that last humorous note...let's have a little rapid fire fun with this, shall we? Here's a little something for "the fans" out there.

Boxers, Briefs, Thongs or Commando?

ML: Briefs

KT: Beyonce or Jennifer Hudson?

ML: Jennifer Hudson

KT: Would you ever audition for American Idol, and what do you think of the show?

ML: I never would. And I've never even watched the show

KT: If you could meet one “hero” dead or alive, who would it be?

ML: Martin Luther King

KT: Which L-Word character would you be? Or do you hate the show?

ML: Don't hate it but don't watch it.

KT: If you could collaborate with any pop or R&B female singer out there, who would it be?

ML: Jill Scott

KT: What’s your favorite rock band?

ML: Tears for Fears [kt makes rock horns in dorkily enthusiastic response]

KT: Justin Timberlake or Michael Jackson?

ML: Michael Jackson

KT: Commitment or non-monogamy?

ML: Commitment and monogamy, if not married.

KT: Riverside or San Bernardino?

ML: Riverside [kt's rockhorns, round two!]

KT: SUV or Hybrid?

ML: Hybrid

See Melange LaVonne as part of the 2007 Homo Revolution tour:

3/29/07 - San Diego, CA **Opening Night**
The Brass Rail
3796 5th Ave
San Diego, California 92103
8 PM, 21+/$10
Line Up: Deadlee, Soce The Elemental Wizard, Delacruz, MC FLOW,
Melange Lavonne, Bigg Nugg, JFP, QBoy, Mz. Fontaine, Foxxjazell, DJ Jeffa, & Shorty Roc

3/30/07 - Los Angeles, CA
El Cid
4212 W Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, California 90029 (Silverlake)
10:00 PM, 18+/$10
Line Up: Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Soce The Elemental Wizard, Delacruz, Tori Fixx, Salvimex, QBoy, Melange Lavonne, Bigg Nugg, Foxjazell, & JFP

3/31/07 - Las Vegas, NV
Gipsy Nightclub
4633 Paradise Rd.
Las Vegas, Nevada 89109
10:00 PM, 21+/$10
Line Up: Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Delacruz, Tori Fixx, QBoy, Melange Lavonne, Mz. Fontaine, Salvimex, Bigg Nugg, JFP, & Foxxjazell

4/01/07 - Phoenix, AZ
Plazma
1560 E. Osborn Rd.
Phoenix, AZ
8 PM, 21+/$10
Line Up: Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Delacruz, Tori Fixx, QBoy, Melange Lavonne, Mz. Fontaine, Salvimex, Bigg Nugg, JFP, & Foxxjazell

4/02/07 - Albuquerque, NM
Out ch'Yonda Theater Space
929 4th Street SW
Albuquerque, NM 87101
7 PM, ALL AGES/$10
Line Up: Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Delacruz, Tori Fixx, QBoy, Melange Lavonne, Mz. Fontaine, Salvimex, Bigg Nugg, JFP, & Foxxjazell

4/03/07 - El Paso, TX
Fat Mary's Martini Bar and Grill
8635 Dyer
El Paso, Texas 79904
8 PM, 21+/$10
Line Up: Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Delacruz, Tori Fixx, QBoy, Melange Lavonne, Mz. Fontaine, Bigg Nugg, JFP, & Foxxjazell

4/05/07 - San Antonio, TX
The Saint Showbar
1430 N. Main Ave
San Antonio, Texas 78212
8 PM, $10
Line Up: Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Delacruz, Tori Fixx, QBoy, Melange Lavonne, Mz. Fontaine, Bigg Nugg, JFP, & Foxxjazell

4/06/07 - Houston, TX
Club Dignity Bar and Grill
127 Scott Street
Houston, TX
9 PM, 18+/$10
Line Up: Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Delacruz, Tori Fixx, QBoy, Melange Lavonne, Mz. Fontaine, Bigg Nugg, JFP, & Foxxjazell

4/07/07 - Austin. TX
Victory Grill
1104 E 11th St
Austin, TX 78702
8 PM, 18+/$10
Line Up: Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Delacruz, Tori Fixx, QBoy, Melange Lavonne, Mz. Fontaine, Bigg Nugg, JFP, & Foxxjazell

4/08/07 - Dallas, TX
The Brick
4117 Maple Ave.
Dallas, TX
8 PM, 18+/$10
Line Up: Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Delacruz, Tori Fixx, QBoy, Melange Lavonne, Mz. Fontaine, Bigg Nugg, JFP, & Foxxjazell

Welcome to the Dollhouse: Inland Barbies

Sorry homies, the emperor is still caught in the schoolio grind (as nasty as Eric Nies's). But for your amusement and discussion, here's a little sumptin' sumptin' I picked up on myspace courtesy of my Ramona Ram sistahs (Kim '91, and J-Sto '92).



"Rancho Cucamonga Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at Victoria Gardens . She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.







"Pomona Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills). Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.








"Chino Hills Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.








"Fontucky Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.








"Hesperia Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Fontucky Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.








"Claremont Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free. These Barbies love to hang out with included protest banners on Arrow and Indian Hill.








"San Bernardino Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.


And the best for last....