Rollin' deep in the heart of the I.E. through the gnarled concrete arteries of 60+10+91 east to neon sunsets and Naugles, Taco Tia, the Mad/Friendly/Happy or Lucky Greek,The Menagerie, Spanky's, Butch's Grinders, The Denny's Cocktail Lounge at Hardman Center (in pace requiescat). We spell Paris P-E-R-R-I-S, bitches!

2.03.2007

Welcome to the Dollhouse: Inland Barbies

Sorry homies, the emperor is still caught in the schoolio grind (as nasty as Eric Nies's). But for your amusement and discussion, here's a little sumptin' sumptin' I picked up on myspace courtesy of my Ramona Ram sistahs (Kim '91, and J-Sto '92).



"Rancho Cucamonga Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at Victoria Gardens . She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.








"Pomona Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills). Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.









"Chino Hills Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.









"Fontucky Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.









"Hesperia Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Fontucky Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.









"Claremont Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free. These Barbies love to hang out with included protest banners on Arrow and Indian Hill.









"San Bernardino Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.


And the best for last....

32 comments:

Mary Contrary said...

Do the Claremont Barbies still have tits so large they'd fall over if actually human?

Anyway, that's just my way to announce my blog. A meagre beginning, but it did take DAYS to decide on the layout.

MA
Mary Contrary's Other (and only) Blog

P said...

These are great. I'm from Southern California and I was ROLLING when I saw this. . .

Hey, don't you think they need to make one for the antelope valley!

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

[p]5) You can report to UGG Australia any fake ones you see on ebay at [url=http://www.uggaustraliabootsale.co.uk]ugg australia boots[/url] info@uggaustralia . Flex can be useful to create simple [url=http://www.uggbootsuk4u.co.uk]buy cheap ugg boots[/url] applications that feature the usual building blocks of application progression, but also gives developers the vitality to create complex, interactive uses . WaxlerBiological Dentistry Is Wave Of Future At Flower Mound Dentistry [url=http://www.uggbootsalegenuine.co.uk]kids ugg boots sale[/url] Practice- By : Dr . meng1991 over-blog blog Low cost baileycrucial Ugg boot advertising regarding teenage youthful girl never [url=http://www.genuineuggsbootscheap.co.uk]genuine australian ugg boots[/url] to point out male employing this specific cold several weeks . When you have attempted on your own ugg boots, you might never [url=http://www.uggaustraliabootsale.co.uk]cheap ugg australia boots[/url] want to remove them . And also, should you be having trouble picking out the optimal layout, get one of [url=http://www.uggbootsuk4u.co.uk]cheap ugg boots for women[/url] the . Translation: uncomfortable and smelly . Related Articles - Ugg, boots, Email this Article to a Friend! Receive Articles like this one direct to your email box!Subscribe for free today! . When purchasing for ugg boots outlet affordable uggs that don seem to be that expensive, numerous girls are amazed to get that there are literally a ugg boots amount of numerous varieties to choose from, each one amongst that are kids uggs clearance sale built being stylish [url=http://www.genuineuggsbootscheap.co.uk]genuine ugg boots[/url] and heat.[/p]

[url=http://www.boston.com/sports/columnists/massarotti/thanks.htm]Here Offer the discount MBT shoes online with high-quality 1q[/url]
[url=http://www.blogger.com/]There Offer the discount MBT online with good quality 6s[/url]
[url=http://www.masterworksfineart.com/art/submit.php?a=Francis]Here Offer the discount MBT sandals for men online with high-quality 6x[/url]
[url=http://forum.klopp.ru/posting.php?mode=quote&f=88&p=579912]There Offer the cheap MBT online with high-quality 1b[/url]
[url=http://www.silicone-products-supplier.com/message]There Offer the cheap MBT sandals for women online with high-quality 9m[/url]

Anonymous said...

yDbg cheap ghd
fPnb nfl jerseys china
wBpq ugg españa
1oUmi ghd
9eVnd ghd straighteners sale

Anonymous said...

8wNmh ghd australia
hPab ugg store
xTql michael kors handbags
6tIev GHD
2bVzw burberry on sale
4eZgx bottes ugg
5oVzu ghd
4xRtc louis vuitton sale
1jCue Michael Kors
0hRzg cheap ghd straighteners
4fFxq cheap ugg boots
7jAdk wholesale nfl jerseys
5eZrl michael kors bags
1aCfp Lisseur GHD
6tSam cheap ugg boots

Anonymous said...

pBpl ghd hair straighteners
hQle ugg boots on sale
cRdo michael kors handbags
1kMlg GHD Australia
4aGwt burberry sale
9gLwr ugg australia
2jOmf ghd nz
8kXvk louis vuitton shoes
2tKgy Michael Kors
3eJwc ghd outlet
3oFay ugg uk
8rNng discount nfl jerseys
8mOrl michael kors purses
7cGav lisseur ghd pas cher
8xQzo cheap uggs

Anonymous said...

vEum coach usa
hYvx ugg boots uk
fTor michael kors bags
6pGnc ugg boots sale
5vIcu chi
9oCiq michael kors outlet
4sAbw nfl football jerseys
9gYwu coach outlet
7kMgm cheap north face
9vAgf ugg
8tEmq ghd salon styler
9wQue michael kors bags
8nBza nfl shop canada
8xVne planchas ghd
1dRbx ugg boots usa

Anonymous said...

LdiWvd [url=http://onnrainnmcm.com/#40176]MCM 店舗[/url] EpeKih http://onnrainnmcm.com/ CucLqa [url=http://mcmsenmon.com/#57633]MCM 通販[/url] AibLew http://mcmsenmon.com/ MssAig [url=http://ninnkimcm.com/#41478]MCM 韓国[/url] AlaUaf http://ninnkimcm.com/ MfhBzo [url=http://kaidokumcm.com/#79774]MCM[/url] GwgKqm http://kaidokumcm.com/ VnfDzs [url=http://manzokumcm.com/#95943]MCM 長財布[/url] SvmUbw http://manzokumcm.com/ UtcWrk http://chloenihon.com/ FdjDvd [url=http://chloenihon.com/]クロエ 財布[/url] TbxT http://toumikousin.com/ DxuXX [url=http://toumikousin.com/]TUMI 財布[/url] RkrHyS http://toumikakaku.com/ YaeDgSI [url=http://toumikakaku.com/]tumi[/url] JjmPud [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM 韓国[/url] CnkQst [url=http://mcmhannbai.com/]MCM キーケース[/url]

Anonymous said...

May I just say what a relief to find someone that actually knows what they're discussing over the internet. You definitely understand how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to look at this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you're not more popular because you most certainly possess the gift.



my web blog Diät ohne Gluten

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye. Thank you very much.

Anonymous said...

Useful info. Fortunate me I discovered your website by
accident, and I'm shocked why this accident did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.

Here is my web page ... wordpress schulung
My webpage: englisch lernen hamburg

Anonymous said...

Very good post. I am going through some of these issues as well.
.

Stop by my web blog - paleodiät

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye. Thank you very much.

Anonymous said...

I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I'm not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my trouble. You are incredible! Thanks!

Also visit my blog ... glutenfrei

Anonymous said...

Right here is the right blog for everyone who would like
to find out about this topic. You know a whole lot its almost tough to
argue with you (not that I personally would want to…HaHa).
You definitely put a brand new spin on a topic that has been discussed for ages.
Great stuff, just great!

My web site; wordpress tutorials for beginners
Also see my site :: wp premium themes

Anonymous said...

I'll right away grasp your rss feed as I can't
find your email subscription link or newsletter service.
Do you've any? Please allow me understand so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

Look into my homepage: Vermögensberater Wiesbaden

Anonymous said...

If some one desires expert view on the topic of running a blog afterward
i propose him/her to go to see this weblog, Keep up the nice job.



My blog post; Steinzeitdiät

Anonymous said...

I was able to find good advice from your content.


my webpage: beratung altersvorsorge

Anonymous said...

Hi, I do believe this is an excellent web site.
I stumbledupon it ;) I will come back yet again since i have bookmarked
it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue
to help others.

Feel free to surf to my web page: Anlageberatung in Wiesbaden

Anonymous said...

Really no matter if someone doesn't know after that its up to other viewers that they will assist, so here it happens.

My web blog; michael kors mens watches

Anonymous said...

Fabulous, what a weblog it is! This weblog gives valuable
information to us, keep it up.

Feel free to surf to my page ... free xbox live codes

Anonymous said...

We stumbled over here by a different web page and thought I
might check things out. I like what I see so now i'm following you. Look forward to looking at your web page yet again.

Here is my homepage; free wii

Anonymous said...

Woah! I'm really digging the template/theme of this website. It's simple, yet effective.
A lot of times it's very hard to get that "perfect balance" between user friendliness and appearance. I must say that you've done a fantastic job with this.
Additionally, the blog loads super fast for me on Firefox.
Outstanding Blog!

My site; Michael Kors Outlet Store

Anonymous said...

I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I'm not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my problem. You are amazing! Thanks!

Here is my web site; ロレックスレプリカ

Anonymous said...

I am regular reader, how are you everybody?
This paragraph posted at this web page is genuinely pleasant.


my web-site - 激安プラダ バッグ

Anonymous said...

I got this website from my friend who shared with me regarding this web page and at the moment
this time I am browsing this web page and reading very informative
posts at this place.

Also visit my web page www.rolexsale-shop.com

Anonymous said...

Great web site you've got here.. It's difficult to find high-quality
writing like yours nowadays. I seriously appreciate people
like you! Take care!!

My blog :: トリーバーチ財布

Anonymous said...

Heya i am for the first time here. I found this
board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot.
I hope to give something back and help others like
you helped me.

Also visit my web site; ミュウミュウ 店舗

Anonymous said...

Very great post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to mention that I
have truly enjoyed browsing your weblog posts. In any case
I will be subscribing on your rss feed and
I'm hoping you write once more very soon!

Feel free to visit my web blog :: ミュウミュウ

Anonymous said...

Hello there, I discovered your blog by way of Google while looking for a similar topic,
your website came up, it seems great. I have bookmarked it in
my google bookmarks.
Hello there, simply changed into aware of your blog thru Google,
and located that it's truly informative. I'm going to watch
out for brussels. I will appreciate when you continue this in future.
A lot of other people shall be benefited out of your writing.

Cheers!

Feel free to surf to my website トリーバーチ パンプス

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure where you are getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for great info I was looking for this info for my mission.

Feel free to surf to my web blog トリーバーチ